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Breaking Up for Valentine’s Day

As Valentine’s season is in full swing, it may seem like everyone around you is engaging in romantic activities with their partner. However, for some, this time of year is a reminder of the importance of independent happiness within and outside of a romantic relationship. A breakup and fresh start may be a better gift than flowers or chocolate for those who are no longer able to find happiness in their relationship.

This year, as in the past, many people will take stock of their happiness in their romantic relationships. Avvo, Inc., an online legal marketplace, released data indicating a 40 percent surge in information on divorce around Valentine’s Day. If a couple is facing difficulties, this time of year can remind them of the lack of romance or happiness in their own relationship. This will prompt an unhappy party to end the relationship. Ending a relationship can be scary, but regaining personal contentment is valuable.

Valentine’s Day is a great time to celebrate love in all its forms, including the love parents have for their children. If your romantic relationship is coming to an end and you are facing a separation or divorce with children, this is the time to pause and reflect on how they may be affected. A child’s introduction to relationships starts with those of their own parents. If the relationship has become unhealthy or toxic, it can have a lifelong negative impact on a child. Alternatively, positive co-parenting relationships can promote healthy parental role models for children. An article last year in Vogue by Emma Specter described her own appreciation of the positive precedent set by her divorced parents: “a relationship that wasn’t a success romantically, but was still respectful and thoughtful and centered around keeping an occasionally fragile peace.” Specter writes that the co-parenting relationship required hard work but that her parents were “infinitely happier apart than they were together.” Fostering a healthy co-parenting relationship is possible even when a romantic relationship is ending.

If you feel a lack of connection or are suffering from poor communication in your relationship, the aura of Valentine’s Day can be an opportunity to recognize that relationships change. Your romantic relationship may end, but your relationship with yourself and other loved ones in your life can provide a fresh and positive new direction for your future.

Leslie Silva is a Partner at Tully Rinckey PLLC’s Albany office where she practices family and matrimonial law, and education law. Leslie has represented individuals in all areas of family and matrimonial law, with a particular experience in high-net-worth matrimonial litigation. She can be reached at or at (888) 264-0142.

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